Wednesday, May 24, 2006

A Requeſt to the Local Blackſmith to Pleaſe Stop Banging My Wife

My dear ſir,

I have recently been affrighted to diſcover that you, the village blackſmith, and my beloved wife Loveday, have engaged in ſexual intercourſe beneth my very noſe. Now, I would generally expect this ſort of behavior from ſome of the villeins, particularly the incorrigable bordar, who has in the paſt muddled up every menial taſk I have aſsigned him and who no leſs than twice coveted the boſom of my youngeſt daughter reſulting in his diſmiſsal, but this is truly unexpected.

Have I not paid you kindly for your rendering of utenſils and grills? In what way have I diſreſpected you that you muſt commit this moſt heinous of aſsaults on my manhood? What is more, the reputation of my wife, who was once like a dame to the townſpeople, with not a fent in her cloth, has been reduced ſuch that her honour would not go for even twopenny at the weekly market.

Reſt aſsured I will be bringing this matter up to the lord mayor at our next banquet, and though my reſpect for you is great, I ſhould not be ſurpriſed if he ſtrips you of your title as village blackſmith and imparts juſtice on you as he would infangthief on a common criminal.

Beſt of luck,

Tomas Dwight, Village Pornographic Illuſtrator

6 Comments:

Blogger Peter said...

i lol'ed quite a bit, but if we're being technical i should note that in that form of english an S at the beginning of the word (if it is a hard S) is written as such, not an F.

wow that was so unnecessary. i apologize.

11:37 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

thanks for reading juggalodish

i consulted the wikipedia (the source of all olde knowledge) and they said that the long S was for s's at the beginning or middle of a word...

7:34 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

verily our kin at wikipedia art learnt.

my experience with the antiquated s/f is limited to a project i did on old gravestones. so wiki's probably right.

5:26 PM  
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