Tuesday, July 04, 2006

I Wish the USA Could Have Won the World Cup

To celebrate they would have Hulk Hogan jump off the 9/11 monument onto a giant American flag held up by the winning soccer team with a mouth full of french fries screaming "FUCK YOU TERRORISTS WE WON"

Then Bruce Springsteen would play a concert with Elton John and Jay-Z while TV reality show stars dance onstage in their underwear

Ronald Mcdonald swoops down waving handing out fireworks to the people in the crowd and on the count of 3 they all set them off and they go up in a giant haze of red, white, and blue

George Bush announces that Osama Bin Laden has been caught and then drives away in the first mass-produced hydrogen powered vehicle

Kim Jong Il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad fly over the celebration in a zeppelin hoping to spoil the party but a small innocent baby launches a firework that causes the zeppelin to explode

American astronauts make the first landing on Mars, sending back
a transmission that said "We have found on Mars airtight solutions to the following problems: global warming, cancer, AIDS, starvation, war, sadness..."

Giant Bart Simpson balloons filled with health care money

The elderly feel safe again.


Blogger Andrei said...

I think we all wish that.

4:33 AM  
Anonymous George said...

Hey I had some good ones

9:03 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

i didn't want to steal anybody's funny

maybe i already did though

2:12 AM  

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